Giving Up? Not Really.

I think I'm just going to let life pass me by. My head is focused on so many things at one time, I can't handle it. My relationship situation hasn't changed for about 11 months and I don't think it's going to change anytime soon.

All I really need are my friends and my music and I have all of that. Whatever happens, happens I guess. I just wish things would've happened sooner. I haven't really wasted my time. I just used that time to realize that my life will never change and I was never ment to find anyone now. I can't say I'm not a bit upset, but I have to understand that I have bigger things to worry about.

My mind wanders. I'm sorry if this post was the least bit depressing/annoying. I still like him, I'll just let him decide what he wants by himself.

Monster M-80

Seriously, this stuff is amazing.
Completely random post...I know, but I just wanted everyone to know my love for Monster M-80.

Another Good Mood

This weekend went pretty well. On Friday, I was bored out of my mind, which was pretty typical. Saturday morning I was selling t-shirts at the Fallston Cup so that I could buy Tony his birthday present.

But oh, Saturday night was awesome. The first jazz band lock-in ever :] It started out slowly, just the band practicing until Mr. Briggs came up with and idea. He decided to let me sing with the band for Oh, Holy Night. I got up and nervously took the microphone. I flubbed up most of the words, but over all I think I did well. He's still not sure if he's going to let me sing it for the concert, but everyone thought it sounded good with the song.

But that wasn't the best part. I definitely feel as if I made a major connection with the guy I like. I'm only telling my friends exactly what happened, but I'm really feeling good about this guy. I feel like he's seen every side of me and if he still likes me even through all of the shit we had to put up with at the lock-in, then things are going to be good no matter what. Honestly, I could care less about the other girl he likes.

Sunday, I was dead tired and I had to sell t-shirts again. Frequent naps saved me from that. I saw Kristin and Liz at the games, so at least I had moments of companionship to wake me up. Also, the cold air shocked me awake too.

I hope your weekend went well too. :]

Finally Updating

Life is finally taking a turn for the better. There's this guy I really like, not the one I've mentioned in previous posts. It's a new guy. Honestly, I think something good is going to happen between us. I told him I liked him and he completely respects me for that and hearing that makes me the happiest person in the world, not to mention to most relieved.

So I'm going to have a fun filled weekend with this guy and I'm glad that no matter what happens between us, we'll still be really good friends. We've drifted apart since the musical has begun (and ended) and now we are really getting to know eachother through this week and I feel extremely good about things.

He's also really happy to see me in a good mood, because i haven't been in one for a hell of a long time.

Cross your fingers and hope for the best! :]

The Butterfly Effect

I just finished watching The Butterfly Effect and now it got me thinking even more than I already am.

Lately I've been thinking about the past. These have been reoccuring thoughts for the past month and now that I've watched this movie, I feel like maybe I should let things go along as they are. If things happen, they happen, but depending on how things go on, I could be effecting someone else's happiness.

Examples of what I've been thinking about were moslty relationship wise. Including, what if I had noticed how much he liked me earlier...would things be different now? or what if I had held onto him?

This blog is probably filled with stuff you didn't really need to read, but whatever.

Desprete High Schoolers

Now that should be a television show. MOVE OVER DESPRETE HOUSEWIVES! REAL TEENAGE LIFE IS COMING INTO PLAY!

Don't you hate desprete girls with a burning passion? Well, I do and they are pissing me off to no end. I have a personal story that just happened today with a very desperate "friend" of mine and a very cute boy with whom I like a lot. Lets see, if this guy doesn't like me more than a friend, than I'm pretty sure that he doesn't want an ugly whore as a girlfriend.

In general, desprete girls are the scum of the earth and if I ever turn into one, please shoot me in the head. Girls that are desprete need to learn that being all over a guy isn't going to make him like you more, unless he's an arrogant jerk only looking for someone to fuck. Most decent guys won't like you if you wear extremely tight and short skirts and rub yourselves all over him. Infact, a decent guy might tell you to change your clothes before you talk to him.

MOral of the story is...don't be a slut!

After the Boat Trip

"We Go Together" has been the soundtrack to my weekend, I swear. Not to mention it's been played a million times over as I practice for the musical.

This long weekend has been a lot of fun compared to my rollercoaster of a week and suprisingly I'm looking forward to this week in general. The boat was so much fun even though Alex fell asleep with her knee up my ass. (I think she put in there on purpose) Remy and I forced her to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning and when her mom asked what we were watching we would say "DREAMGIRLS!" because Alex isn't allowed to watch scary thing. Poor baby :]

Well, I couldn't stop thinking about him and for some reason, I don't mind. Alex figured out who he is, but I don't think he knows yet. I intend to keep it that way for now because I don't want to ruin the friendship we've made. Plus, I think he likes someone else.

I have jazz band call-backs on Wednesday for anyone who want's to come :]

Another Day

Good song, good song.

Well today was a rollercoaster. I almost burst out in tears infront of my teachers and I actually did start crying infront of my friends Katie, Charlotte, and Morgan. Today was simply not a good day, but Spanish was absolutely hilarious. Hannah and I wrote a spanish dialouge about a kid named Enrique and his platypus. Here it is:

-Hola Enrique. ?Como estas?

-Estoy bien. ?y tu?

-!Muy mal! ?Qual prefieres el toco o las papas fritas o el ornitorrinco?

-Mi ornitorrinco esta muerto! pero me encanta los tacos

-Lo siento. ?Que prefiere el tiempo libre?

- Me encanta cuidar los ornitorrincos

-Me facinar comer los ornitorrincos!

-!Me choca tu!

- Lo siento ?Que te gusta en la escuela?

- Me gustan los clases

-Bien !Adios!

For those of you who don't know Spanish, it's just an exremely random conversation that involes eating playtypusses.

Well, for anyone who cares, come watch me tryout for jazz band on Wednesday in the Auditorium. I'll see you there! EVALUATE FAIRLY!

First Blog

Okay, so I got one of these so that I might be able to keep a record of the dumb things that I've done through my life and laugh about them later. Today was a pretty routine day. Worry about my grades, eat, almost fall asleep, kick ass in Studio, get bitched at by my mom, sit and waste the rest of my good vision away by staring at the computer screen. You know, the usual.

One good thing about today was that I was able to practice with the jazz band. Call backs were supposed to be today, but the actually band hasn't perfected the song yet. So the rest of the girls trying out and I decided to sing a long with them. I got plenty of compliments about my singing and now I'm going to be even more overly confident than I already am. I think Mr. Briggs already has me as a top choice, but I won't bet on it.

Alex confirmed that I can go on her boat with Remy for the long weekend, but I need to not miss a homework. Even if I did, I would probably just pass it off as a teachers mistake. Besides, the only assignment I didn't turn in this week was cans. It's only three points off. It's no big deal to me. I should be more attentive to my grades because right now at the rate I'm going, I'm going to be ineligible. That means I'll be pulled out of Grease and that fucking sucks.

I guess I'll write tomorrow if something interesting happens. There's a new CSI on tonight and I need to watch for my husband Greg Sanders.